Divorce is undoubtedly difficult to face. While you may experience grief, feelings of anger or sadness, often these feelings affect more than just you. They may also affect your spouse as well as your children.
But it is possible to have a healthy divorce by working together.
Now, we realize this is much easier said than done. But by taking an amicable approach to your divorce, the process can be made much simpler for everyone involved.
To help provide some direction on how this can be done, here are 6 tips to a healthy divorce.
1 – Try to Make the Divorce Easy on Those Involved
If faced with divorce, one of the best things you can do is try to make it easy on everyone. This will help minimize harmful impact as well as speed up the process. When divorce becomes complicated, you may find yourself facing a contested divorce which tends to generally drag out much longer.
So how do you make things easy on everyone involved?
You do this by aiming for an amicable divorce. While working together with your spouse may be the last thing you want to do, it will be much more likely that you have a healthy divorce if you do. Not only that, but children will benefit from this approach as well.
2 – Try to be Amicable for a Healthy Divorce
To be amicable in the divorce, you and your spouse need to be civil. There is no way around this.
This is not to say that you should give up everything in the divorce, but you should be willing to negotiate with each other if need be.
This is what it means to be amicable. You are mutually agreeing with each other on the terms of the divorce.
The last thing you want is to face a legal battle with your spouse that extends for a year or longer.
When you have this sort of approach to your divorce, issues get resolved faster. This in turn, allows you to move on with your life much sooner.
Try to follow these guidelines to a healthy divorce:
Limit or avoid blame altogether
While one spouse or the other may have more fault, blaming one another isn’t going to help. The fact of the matter is, one or both of you is trying to move on. Limiting blame can only ease the process.
Keep your sight on the bigger picture
It can be easy to become distracted or even have changes in mind along the way. If you focus on what it is you’re trying to accomplish in the divorce, there is a better likelihood it will be smooth.
Make negotiations reasonable
It’s fair to want what is yours in a divorce. But when dividing community property or assets, try to be as fair as possible with each other.
Keep the needs of your children in mind
When children are involved, there are negotiations on custody arrangements and child support. Rather than fight about who should have custody, try to mutually agree on a schedule that both of you are okay with for the time being.
Try to come to an agreement together before forcing a legal battle
When divorcing couples can come to an agreement on their own, they reduce the need for creating a legal battle with each other. If couples end up going to court or mediation, the cost will always be higher in the long run.
By adhering to these guidelines, you give yourself a better chance at a healthy divorce.
3 – Be Transparent with Your Children
At any age, children will feel the effects of divorce. The best thing you can do is sit down with your children and speak with them about the divorce. This is not the time to throw your spouse under the bus.
Rather, it is opportunity to be reassuring to them. Let them know it is not their fault as sometimes children tend to blame themselves.
When talking with your children, you should do this together with the other parent. Answer any questions they may have and let them know you are there for them if they need to talk later.
4 – Consider a Support Group
Going through a divorce creates all sorts of emotions and thoughts in people. Whether you find a divorce support group or a close friend to speak with, find a way to talk about what you’re going through.
Holding feelings within can not only hurt you emotionally, but it can also create resentment. This in turn can create emotional reactions in the divorce which can cause you to make poor decisions you may not have made otherwise.
So do yourself a favor and talk it out.
5 – Choose Battles Wisely
During a divorce, you may be tempted to fight over every little thing. And rightfully so. You are divorcing your spouse because you feel you can’t be married to them anymore. As a result, you may feel vengeful.
The key to a healthy divorce is keeping things running smoothly. If furniture is really worth fighting over for you, then okay. But if not, be willing to let certain things go if you can live without them.
You will feel at ease if you allow yourself to become less defensive during the divorce process.
6 – Go at a Reasonable Pace
It’s only natural to want things to be finalized as soon as possible in a divorce. But it is a process, so it’s not going to be immediate.
One of the best things you can do to ensure you have a healthy divorce is take a day at a time. Don’t be in such a rush that you are on constant edge. Rather, use the time in between as an opportunity to begin preparing for your next phase in life.
When children are involved you’ll want to make sure they are smoothly transitioning as well. If one or both of you is moving, likely your kids are too. So you don’t want to rush them during this time either. Allow them time to process and become comfortable with any changes that are taking place.
Above all, ease into things as well as you can. Everyone involved will benefit as a result.
Give Yourself a Chance at a Healthy Divorce
Divorce is difficult to deal with. There is no doubt about that. But you can have a healthy divorce if you allow yourself to. It does require some cooperation on both ends, but it can be done.
By reducing conflict and trying to come to mutually agreed upon decisions with your former spouse to be, you can avoid a legal battle on your hands.
In the end, you will be happier and more at ease mentally and emotionally.
If you need help with your divorce, please contact us. We will be glad to help guide you to a healthy divorce.
