Being married to a narcissist is hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s common to question and doubt yourself, your spouse and the relationship. You might ask yourself \u201cWhat did I do wrong?\u201d even though your partner does not give you the same consideration.<\/p>\n

Deciding to end a marriage is never an easy decision for anyone.\u00a0 Over time, your marriage may have become one-sided so after deciding to separate from them, it might be uncomfortable putting yourself first. But that\u2019s exactly what you need to do to maintain endurance during this divorce.<\/p>\n

Determine the safest course of action for you<\/h2>\n

Deciding to leave your narcissistic spouse can be scary.\u00a0 Throughout this journey, make strategic decisions that will keep you safe.\u00a0 If children are involved, you will also need to be considerate of their safety and well-being.\u00a0 Don\u2019t ever compromise your physical and mental safety no matter how long this process takes.<\/p>\n

Separation from a spouse will require a third party to facilitate formal conversations, divvy out assets and protect the legal integrity of the divorce.\u00a0 Be aware that when negatively provoked, narcissists will do everything they can to come out on top.\u00a0 It may become more difficult than usual to discuss the relationship and your decision to end the relationship.<\/p>\n

With the aid of loved ones and licensed professionals like therapists, mediators and attorneys, you can decide what your next steps should be to continue to ensure your safety even after your divorce is finalized.<\/p>\n

Identify a strong support group<\/h2>\n

A narcissistic spouse can make you feel alone and that you are the bad guy.\u00a0 Their confusing logic may make you question yourself and other relationships that you have outside of your marriage.\u00a0 But more than likely, none of that is true.<\/p>\n

Now is the time to surround yourself with loved ones and professionals who will always support you. By reaching out for the support from trusted loved ones, you will find help and validation.<\/p>\n

It is a good idea to speak to a licensed therapist or counselor.\u00a0 A therapist will provide a safe space to help you make sense of any conflicting thoughts and feelings.\u00a0 And if children are involved, find someone that they are able to feel comfortable enough to share their feelings with too.<\/p>\n

As you begin to work toward your new independence with a helpful support group, do not rush yourself.\u00a0 When you are comfortable to share parts of your relationship and feel like you are ready to finalize your separation, it\u2019s time for you to hire a supportive high-conflict divorce attorney.<\/p>\n

Find an attorney who will advocate for your needs.\u00a0 Make sure that you can trust your attorney with your thoughts and feelings.\u00a0 They can also act as a liaison when communicating with your narcissistic ex spouse.<\/p>\n

Set strong, healthy boundaries<\/h2>\n

Creating healthy boundaries in relationships allows you to stay mentally sane and physically safe.\u00a0 Boundary setting can be difficult with loved ones but if they have your best interest at heart, they will be respectful of what you have asked of them.<\/p>\n

Set strong boundaries with any loved ones that you have been able to confide in.\u00a0 You may want to talk to a brother about one topic but your mom about another.\u00a0 Set boundaries with your therapist and attorney like setting specific times that you are available to talk about your divorce.\u00a0 And, most importantly, set firm boundaries with your narcissistic spouse.<\/p>\n

Be aware of common narcissistic behaviors that your spouse may use to continue to be harmful during the divorce.\u00a0 Some common narcissistic behaviors are:<\/p>\n

\n
• Showing little to no empathy<\/li>\n
• Exploiting loved ones<\/li>\n
• Expressing no awareness or insight of others<\/li>\n
• Showing no shame or remorse<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

  Because narcissists are not considerate of others, expecting them to respect boundaries that you have set with them may be difficult so be strong and resilient.\u00a0 Return any texts or phone calls when you are ready and have the time.\u00a0 Stick to any court-ordered visitation plans for children.\u00a0 Do what is best and safest for you.<\/p>\n

  Self-care<\/h2>\n

  You have made the decision to take care of yourself by divorcing your narcissistic ex so continue to care for yourself during the process.\u00a0 The process can be mentally and physically draining so allow yourself time and space to check in with yourself.<\/p>\n

  Self care does not need to be anything extraordinary.\u00a0 Give yourself a mental break when you need it by not talking about the divorce.\u00a0 Make sure you eat and sleep regularly.\u00a0 Go out with friends and eat your favorite foods.\u00a0 Go on a bike ride or on walks with pets.\u00a0 Practice religious customs if it helps to recenter.<\/p>\n

  Taking time for yourself is never a selfish thing to do.\u00a0 By giving yourself time and space to enjoy the fun parts of life, it can help to give you a clear mind while working through the divorce and keep you focused on the small victories along the way.<\/p>\n

  Let us help<\/h2>\n

  Remember that you are not alone through this process and that help is always available.\u00a0 Keeping yourself safe is never a bad choice.<\/p>\n

  If you need help divorcing a narcissist, contact us<\/a> to find support and guidance through this difficult time.\u00a0 We have experience helping people in similar situations find sanctuary and peace of mind.\u00a0 Putting you first will always be our priority.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

  Being married to a narcissist is hard.\u00a0 It\u2019s common to question and doubt yourself, your spouse and the relationship. You might ask yourself \u201cWhat did I do wrong?\u201d even though your partner does not give you the same consideration. Deciding to end a marriage is never an easy decision for anyone.\u00a0 Over time, your marriage…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":14027,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[205],"tags":[236],"class_list":["post-14028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-divorce","tag-divorcing-a-narcissist"],"yoast_head":"\n